A Baby Lawyer's First Steps

I am now, amazingly, half-way through my first seat. And just like any baby, whose proud parents record first steps, first words, first teeth, this baby lawyer has milestones of her own. Below are some of the most memorable milestones of my first few months as a graduate solicitor, of course with accompanying gifs.

1. First time I wrote an external letter and signed my name as a Graduate Solicitor ... like an adult

(It doesn't matter that it was just a cover letter to counsel saying "please find enclosed the updated documents to be inserted into the working bundle". It still counts)

2. First time I did a West Wing walk and talk

My trainee friend and I met up in the hallway, walked for a bit while chatting, and then went our separate ways. The moment was slightly ruined when we both said "hey we both just did the West Wing thing!" Next time it will be way cooler.

3. First time I saw naked ladies in the gym changing rooms

Why is it necessary to put your make-up on in the mirror with only your underwear on and no bra?!?!  

4. The first time I was too 'expensive' to work the weekend

So usually, as a trainee, you're the cheapest labour (i.e. you have the lowest hourly rates charged to the client) and so get the more time-consuming tasks. That is, apart from paralegals. Leading up to trial, our poor poor paralegals had to work this weekend and I didn't because I WAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!! I just thought yesssss....I'm outta here

5. First time I realised that the document style code is different to what I used at university

I get very annoyed every time I see a quotation mark after punctuation instead of before (for example, "like this:" instead of "like this":), and when legislation is not italicised, and when they put full stops in acronyms like Q.C. instead of QC. I had no idea the Australian Guide to Legal Citation was so ingrained after law school, but aaarrghh it's so frustrating!

6. First time I finished at 2am

The time 2am has always had a particular significance to me, symbolising the plight of the commercial law trainee. It's probably then not a milestone to be 'celebrated' exactly, but in good news it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Not sure if anyone else finds this, but on late nights I tend to alternate between this...

...and this...

7. The first time I was taken to the stationary room and told that I could take ANYTHING THAT I LIKED

Including those pens that can rub out!

I hope you enjoyed my list of milestones so far, see you all next week!

Time recording - AWK.AWK.02

You're three months into your training contract. You feel like you're getting the hang of things. You understand when it's appropriate to use "Dear", "Hi" or just the person's name in an email. You've worked out when is a good time to get to work, and when you can slip out without having to ask that potentially catastrophic question: "is there anything else you need from me?" You've worked out your favourite combination of foods to reach the dinner budget limit when you're working late. It's even been ages since the last time you had an entire conversation on auto-pilot because you were trying to frantically remember the person's name.

You're like:

But don't get cocky.

Remember that statistically, people at all stages of the legal hierarchy have recorded, and regularly do record, time under AWK.AWK.01. Awkward Encounters can strike at any time, taking up valuable minutes of your life that you'll never get back. And those minutes need to be recorded.

To assist you, here are some further examples from my friends' and my experiences over the last month, of common scenarios which can be recorded under AWK.AWK.01:

1. Bathroom Encounters

This is a classic conundrum. You see a colleague in the hallway on the way to the bathroom, or worse, you both come out of the cubicles at the same time. You weren't prepared for this. You rack your brains for small talk. Unfortunately the weather hasn't been interesting, and so you abandon this safe, well-trodden path. What do you say? 

You end up mumbling something incoherent, and the person stops and looks at you confused. You say "Sorry?" And your colleague says: "Did you just say, 'it wasn't me?'". He glances at the toilet, alarmed. Possibly the worst thing somebody could think you said in or around a bathroom. 

Awkward bathroom encounters are always recordable under AWK.AWK.01.

2. Cultural differences

This encompasses a range of awkward behaviours. This particular post focuses on one such encounter: Australians and North Americans have a habit of speech that does not seem to work in the UK, that is, we say the worst thing you could possibly say in a given scenario, but sarcastically. The minutes of awkward silence after you make such a joke, and the unsuccessful digging upwards to save the situation, are all accountable. Examples:

• To your supervisor: "It's my birthday tomorrow! You're lucky I'm not calling in sick! ... [silence] ... I mean...not that I would call in sick, because that's not what you do when you're an adult. I was more talking about how when you were little, if it was a special day, your mum would let you take the day off school...[silence]...but I guess that doesn't really apply here...um...yeh".

• On the topic of clothing standards in the workplace: "Yeh that's right, wear shorter shirts! This is a heels-only workplace!". Cue Antipodean laughter. Brits are silent.

• To a feminist partner: "I've been really looking forward to starting work so I don't think I'll take a year off" ... [silence] ... [trying to fill awkward silence] ... "but at least I'll have maternity leave!" You then get a lecture about how maternity leave isn't a holiday.

• To a hard working associate: "So...busy day today huh?"   "No actually it's been really quiet". You think he's being sarcastic, and say "oh, yeh I can tell by your general lazy attitude that you wouldn't have done anything today" ... [silence and look of horror on associate's face] ... "oh! sorry I didn't realise that you were being serious, I thought you were joking, I was just joking and playing along....but you weren't joking, ah, ok well ..."

• To your supervisor: "yep that's right, my boyfriend's arriving tonight. Don't know how I'll concentrate! Ha ha" ... [silence] ... "I mean, of course I'll concentrate, I was just saying..." Still paranoid he thinks you won't concentrate so you send a follow-up email that night: "Just making sure you know that I was joking when I said that I wouldn't concentrate". He is surprised by the email and reassures you that he didn't take you seriously. The next day he wrongly accuses you of not being able to concentrate, proving that you were right all along.

I repeat! Sometimes we say the worst possible thing sarcastically because in our home countries, this is considered humorous. There is nothing worse than making a joke that would traditionally work, but instead, falls flat:

In other words, my fellow Aussies and North Americans, maybe just record this time under AWK.AWK.01. 

3. Regretting 'Past You'

You feel like you've come a long way over the past 3 months. If anything, you're quite proud of the way you've been recording your time...like a boss. Your supervisor suddenly sends around an email chastising the group for the sloppy narratives you've all been writing when recording your time. He uses an example: the phrase "Walking upstairs to deliver DVD to document management team" is unprofessional. You laugh to yourself: who would write "walking upstairs"?? 

Your supervisor then tells you that you recorded this phrase 4 weeks ago.

The time spent in embarrassment, plus the time re-telling this story to your housemate who points out that it was irresponsible of you to not record your time "walking downstairs", and the time spent realising that there WERE no stairs, and that you had actually taken the lift, is all accountable under AWK.AWK.01.

Just remember...

That we all experience awkwardness, and that at the end of the day, we're all being awkward together

Londonisms

Taking a break from work stories, I thought this week I would write about some of my favourite Londonisms. Over the past few months, I've really been getting to know East London and the theatre district, but there's still so much to explore. In the meantime, here are some things that I have found absurd about London, or the people living in London, and I hope you enjoy!

Hating on the tube

As somebody who walks to work, I adore the tube. What's not to like about an extensive underground railway system, connecting almost every part of London, with trains that come once every 2 minutes? Instead, anyone who's travelled on the tube in peak hour has clearly been scarred by the experience: "no, trust me, it's really bad. You're crushed, people smell, I hate people" is how it generally goes. My friend told me that she was once pushed up against a man whose breath was so bad that she had to get out at the next station for fear of vomiting. I got on the tube the other day - as usual, on a lazy weekend when the tube is at its most delightful  - and I saw this ad, which made me laugh so hard: it just perfectly summed up how workers see the tube.

I try to explain to people that in Melbourne, I will sometimes have to wait 40 minutes for a train. 40 minutes! And even then, we still have very packed peak hours. All I get is "no, trust me, it's really bad. You're crushed, people smell, I hate people".

Hating on tourists

Now I actually partake in this one. When I was at Oxford, I got pretty sick of tourists. My friends and I had tourists filming us on the way to exams (which is really the last thing you need at that point) and taking photos once they realise that "you do even go here" (à la Mean Girls)

I thought I had put those days behind me, but oh did my hatred of tourists come roaring back when I returned to the UK! Slightly different this time - because I'm an immigrant and nobody takes photos, mistaking me for a Londoner. But also the same, in the general annoyance that people who live and work here have against people who don't live and work here. Londoners will not go shopping on Oxford Street or in Covent Garden for example - they're right that it's absolute madness on the weekends. My personal pet peeve is the slow walking. The meandering, ambling walk of someone with too much damn time on their hands and who is annoyingly looking around and appreciating the beauty of this city on purpose just to piss everyone else off. The way they walk in groups, taking up the whole footpath, it makes me want to (again thank you Mean Girls):

Sun comes out, rush to the pavement

As someone who comes from a country with no ozone layer and 'slip slop slap' our national mantra, the way that Brits flock outside the moment the sun comes out is completely foreign. When I say outside, I mean literally any part of the sunny spot that they can get. There is no goal of finding "dappled shade" (as my law friends back home used to call it) - any part of the footpath covered in shade is empty, and any part with sun is packed with people. This was Broadway Market a few weeks ago:

"The shade moved but, man, I'm already sitting down with my beer"

"There were no tables but we desperately needed some sun. 

Not desperately enough to take off my hat though".

I actually get it now. I don't think Australians fully understand the oppressiveness of having grey skies for months at a time, only for a hot blue sky to open up and the serotonin to flood your system with delicious happiness. It's no wonder the NHS has a page dedicated to seasonal affective disorder. Not too long until summer now!

Policeman at intersections

This is truly bizarre. At perfectly functioning intersections, policemen are stationed on each corner and watch the traffic. My first thought was that there was a blitz on jaywalkers who were putting their lives and the lives of vehicle drivers at risk. But no. People jaywalk right in front of these policemen, cutting through traffic on their way to work, and the policemen DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Why the hell are they there?? As someone who has been fined $52 for jaywalking (yes that's right), I felt particularly resentful in the beginning, but now I just dash across the street right under their noses with the rest of them.

I promise to update you all if I find out the reason for this madness.

Theatre snobbery

Last but not least, if you're a Londoner, you don't go to big flashy West End musicals. You might have seen Phantom or Les Mis when you were young, but now you're much too important and refined to put up with such ostentation. The less well-known the play the better, preferably with a political agenda. One man shows are good for this, interpretive dance even better, with a seating capacity of 20.

Joking aside, one great thing about living in London, is that we get to see FAMOUS PEOPLE in plays. Because you're living here, you can book tickets months in advance, and snap up the tickets going for ridiculously cheap prices. My friend a few weeks ago saw Kevin Spacey! I have even climbed on board and bought tickets to see Nicole Kidman in a play in September. Do I know what the play's about? No idea. She's famous and I got £10 tickets so I'm going!! I slowly feel like I'm getting the hang of this London thing :-)


I'll be taking a break next weekend because my fiancé will be coming to visit!!! I'm counting down the days! :-D

War Stories: How to Deal with Making Mistakes

A real theme this week for me has been learning how to deal with making mistakes. This week I realised that in a witness statement already served on the other side, I had written a few incorrect cross-references: I felt embarrassed, like I'd let my team down, and that someone reading the witness statement on the other side would, not being able to find the document on the right page, think to themselves "the person who did these cross-references has NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S DOING!! JUDGEMENT JUDGEMENT JUDGEMENT".

This post is about the marvellous, heart-warming, response to making mistakes which seems to exist amongst lawyers, which I will call the 'War Stories' effect.

Essentially what I've found is that, if I'm feeling a bit down because I made an embarrassing mistake, someone will say to me: "you think that mistake is bad, I once [insert worse version of mistake that they have made]". It's wonderful!! It makes you feel so much better! It reminds me of the lawyers' equivalent of the Monty Python Four Yorkshiremen sketch: "only five referencing mistakes? YOU WERE LUCKY"

Quickly escalating to:

So far examples of this that I've come across have been:

• My friend asked the printing centre to print the wrong documents and wasted a few hundred pounds. Feeling so embarrassed and guilty, she confessed to an associate. He said (I'm paraphrasing here): "only a few hundred pounds?? You were lucky! I once asked the printing centre to print all the wrong versions of some documents and wasted £12,000!"

• A more senior associate told me about how as a newly qualified (NQ) she accidentally disclosed two privileged documents to the other side. Her supervisor dealt with it expertly, explaining to the client what happened, and the other side were also professionals about it - deleting the documents before they had read them. But her supervisor also told her (I'm paraphrasing again): "Only two privileged documents? You were lucky! I know of a firm who accidentally disclosed 50,000 privileged documents to the other side!"

• An NQ told me how he'd been asked to draft an email for his supervisor to send, and prefaced the email with: "See below for the draft email, please let me know if you would like me to take out [this part] or whether I should leave it in". He then accidentally sent that to the other side who responded "I am sure that your supervisor would approve of the email, and would have asked you to leave it in!" Compare this mild embarrassment to the classic "reply all" scenario, or where you accidentally email the other side a privileged document, etc. 

In other words, as a baby lawyer, it feels like you are being let out into the world on your own, and no matter how diligent or careful you are, you are going to mess up sometimes:

As my senior associate said: as a trainee most (if not all) of your mistakes are going to be inconsequential. This means you need to learn how to deal with them now, so when the time comes that you make a "colossal" (her word) mistake, you know how to approach it. The advice that I've been given from my team, which I've found incredibly useful, is:

• adopt a problem-solving attitude: move on, and think to yourself 'how can I fix this?' Then present both the problem and a potential solution to your supervisor
• learn to separate your personal self from your work self: making a mistake, or losing a case, or not getting the exact outcome that your client wants - these are not reflections on you as a person. This is part of your job.

And lastly, you are working in a team. As my senior associate put it: nothing is just your fault. There is a system in place where those above you will be responsible for allocating you work, making sure you're well-prepared, and checking your work (if need be). If something slips through the cracks, it is everyone's responsibility. I'm not saying that every group or every law firm sees it in this way, but I am lucky to be part of a solid seven person team working on one big case, and in practice, it means that there are always people to help you up when you fall down:

I do though think that a lot of groups see it this way.

Arguably the best part about making so many little mistakes in your first few months, is that you feel AMAZING AND SUPER QUALIFIED AND CONFIDENT when you DON'T make a mistake!! SUCH LAWYER! SO EXPERT! Now when I do something completely on my own, with no (or hardly any) mishaps, this is how I feel....

...only for the cycle to start again :-)